Episodes

EPISODE 48 Have you ever felt the frustration and bewilderment of why your love for someone pushes them away or why your beloved feels harmed by your best intentions? Loving Much ≠ Loving Well. We can love much and harm ourselves and others if we do not also learn how to love well. In this episode I share how loving well is something we simply cannot do unless we heal and integrate our core selves from the unconscious traumas we may have accumulated in our lives. You can find the video of the or...

EPISODE 49 When we lack integration in our own identity, we do not have the power to love ourselves or others well. The work of interior integration helps us to love not only much but also love others well . In this episode I share how inner child healing helped grow my capacity to love others well: - Made me more self-aware of when I was using connection with others to avoid connecting with myself - Helped me to stop shape-shifting in relationships - Helped me learn to recognise where healthy b...

EPISODE 50 Being our real selves can be difficult even when we are not under duress. How do we build the inner resilience to still act with authenticity even in times of stress and adversity? In this episode I discuss three factors that impact our inner resilience: - our level of integration (healing) - our ability to self-regulate when we are triggered - and the availability of the right kind of external support. Share this episode via this episode page. CHAPTER MARKERS (00:00:15) - Introductio...

EPISODE 51 Many of us don't realise how much of a hold shame - specifically toxic shame - has over us. When shame is 'toxic', we don't just feel shame over what we do but we experience deep shame over WHO WE ARE. Toxic shame at the core of our identity re-tells the lie that our worth depends on never making a mistake or never disappointing others. In this episode I share some of my own experiences of shame and how I began to be freed from the hold that it had over me. Share this episode via this...

EPISODE 52 (BONUS) When we are in performance mode we expect to be assessed, evaluated and we seek to impress. There are times when we need to be in performance mode but what if that's how we approach our whole life? We end up exhausted and our identities fuse with the roles we play. In this bonus episode I reflect about what happens when we don't get out of "performance mode" and end up never really LIVING our life as our full, human, imperfect and work-in-progress selves. Watch the original v...

EPISODE 53 In this final episode to Season 4, I review what we've covered and once again provide an over-arching view of the thematic arcs of this podcast. I also talk about A Leader's Spirituality (ALS) , an online course that I will be teaching in Sep-Oct 2022 for the Catholic Leadership Centre where we will delve systematically into the fundamental principles spoken about on this podcast. Specifically, this course facilitates participants in learning now to be a more authentic, integrated and...

EPISODE 54 If you have been searching for your calling or personal vocation and still feel that you lack clarity, have you wondered how you can help yourself gain clarity in this process? In this episode I talk about three reasons we struggle to gain clarity about our personal vocation - a lack of awareness of the scripts that influence our lives; a lack of knowledge about the unique design we have been given; and a lack of interior freedom to be authentic. Watch the video (without praxis promp...

EPISODE 55 We all know how important good leadership is, and many of us fear that we don't measure up when we have to lead. While there are many ways that we can grow to become more effective as a leader, we often fail to appreciate the harm that an inauthentic and insecure leader can cause - even when we possess other leadership abilities. In this episode, I share about my past struggles with leadership when I was still unaware of my lack of interior integration, and how my dependence on extern...

EPISODE 56 Scripts are the unspoken silent guidelines that shape our thoughts, our beliefs, and our action which we learn from our interactions with our environment since our earliest days. Scripts are the lens through which we see and interpret our world - but they are often not in our conscious awareness. In this episode I share how we each have a leadership script that impacts the way we lead - often without our awareness. I talk about where our scripts come from and why continuing to be unaw...

EPISODE 57 Have you ever been so identified with a role that you lose touch with who you are apart from it? Playing an important leadership role can occupy so much of our lives that we forget that our True Self is so much deeper and more multi-faceted than the role(s) we play. In this episode I talk about the importance of having a strong and integrated core identity so that you lead out of who you are instead of allowing your leadership role to limit your identity. I also talk about the implica...

EPISODE 58 In this special episode of the Leadership series, I share a conversation with a fellow interior pilgrim who had tasted the heights of success in leadership but found himself tumbling into the search for authenticity and meaning when the personas that had defined him were taken from him. My guest for this episode is a former President and CEO of a global charitable organisation who now lives with the reality of the undeniable fact that true leadership is not only exercised with skilful...

EPISODE 59 What do we do when our insecurity rears its head? When we feel vulnerable and exposed, incompetent but we still have to lead? Denying, suppressing or bypassing our insecurities may give us short-term relief but will inevitably lead us to greater stress and disintegration. In this episode I explain why learning to recognise and deal with our insecurities in a healthy, self-compassionate way is essential to leading effectively. I go on to offer 4 steps we can take to become better at ...

EPISODE 60 How can we bring the best that we can offer as a leader through leveraging our areas of giftedness and honouring our limits? What can we do to increase our effectiveness and impact without burning out and without needing to be inauthentic? Sometimes it's not what we have or don't have, but knowing HOW to manage and use what we have that makes all the difference. In this episode I discuss how we can grow in self-awareness about our gifts and our limits as well as four ways we can use t...

EPISODE 61 What does it look like to use what we learn about our scripts, temperament and motivational design to help us show up as our best and also most authentic selves? In this episode I illustrate what this process can be like in concrete terms using my own experience and journey as an example. I share how growing in self-acceptance, becoming more aware of my scripts and learning about my temperament and motivational design through the Myers-Briggs (MBTI Step II®) and Motivation Code (MCODE...

EPISODE 62 In this final episode of the series on interior life and leadership, I discuss four distinct and deepening layers of knowing ourselves. As interior pilgrims we need to understand why self-knowledge needs to go beyond knowing about ourselves to learning how to attune to our inner selves and knowing how to lead ourselves into unity and wholeness. Share this episode via this episode page . RESOURCE Learn more about my Clarity Consultative-Coaching Package CHAPTER MARKERS (00:00:31) - In...

EPISODE 63 In this bonus episode to round off 2022, Nicole Law interviews me about my thoughts on emotionally healthy spirituality. I speak candidly about the pitfalls of approaching our spiritual life without attention to emotional health and what we can do to take steps towards a more integrated and human spirituality. This conversation was originally published over 8 mini episodes on nourishthesoul podcast. Share this episode via this episode page . CHAPTER MARKERS (00:00:31) - Introduction ...

EPISODE 64 When we start healing and become aware of the life scripts that bind us, it can be especially frustrating when we find ourselves succumbing to "old ways". When this inevitably happens, how can we remain serene? In this episode, I share some tips on how we can learn to co-exist with the old scripts that get triggered even as we grow in strength to live more authentically and be our true selves. Share this episode via this episode page . Cf: EP 8 | The Necessary Practice of Making Spac...

EPISODE 65 Without identifying the scripts that influence our behaviour without our awareness, we would be unable to come into deeper self-knowledge of who we truly are. In this episode I share why our scripts can affect our ability to know our real selves, including impacting the accuracy of instruments such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®) and Motivation Code (MCODE™). Share this episode via this episode page. CHAPTER MARKERS (00:00:17) - Introduction (00:05:25) - Is this part of My...

EPISODE 66 (BONUS) Can you let God meet you where you REALLY are this Lent? Will you allow yourself to not DO anything for Lent if you are overwhelmed? What might an authentic Lent of interior integration look like for you? In this special bonus episode recorded live on Ash Wednesday, I share about the struggle when we are overwhelmed by what's going on in our own life and find it difficult to "do" our Lenten practices. This episode is for anyone who needs the reminder this Lent that God meets u...

EPISODE 67 What is it like to actively discern one's personal vocation and take the steps to follow that discernment in real life? This episode is a live recording I made after I realised I have been holding back on fully acknowledging the new direction God was asking me to take. In this episode I trace the milestones and turning points of the journey I have taken so far as I follow God's "breadcrumbs" from being an aspiring academic to full time lay pastoral minister in church to budding entre...

EPISODE 68 Is your search for your True Self and the unique calling that God has given you anchored in a sense of existential safety, or is it subtly driven by anxiety and fear? Many of us long to know who we are and leap ahead to tools of discernment and retreats without realising that a deep confidence that we are being accompanied by God and by our selves in unconditional acceptance and love is a prerequisite that needs to be in place first. In this episode I explain why that is. Share this e...

Episode 69 In this episode I speak with soul guide and companion Edwina Yeow of Anam Cara Ministries about pace in the interior journey. We share our own experiences of the struggle to slow down, breaking through the compartmentalisation between sacred and secular, and soaking in God's love instead of striving to prove ourselves. Share this episode via this episode page. RESOURCE If you are unfamiliar with Ignatian Contemplation (which is mentioned in this episode) you can find out more here . C...

Episode 70 One of the constant challenges we face on our road into authenticity and wholeness is the burden of other people's expectations of us. What we don't often realise is that the "form" of these expectations can change greatly when we are in different seasons of our life, even when we have undergone conversion and growth. In this episode I share with you three very different seasons in my life and how the initial liberation of one season led to new burdens of expectations that were of a ...

Episode 71 Even when we have been on the interior journey for a while and have grown in self-knowledge and self-acceptance, we may find that we still struggle to integrate our new awareness into our daily living. Why is that? In this episode I delve deeper using my own current ongoing struggle of integration to explain why it is that even when we have become much clearer on who we are, we can still find it very difficult to let our be-ing match our understanding and experience. Share this episod...