EP 167 | Deconstruction as Differentiation and Individuation
In this episode, I'm exploring deconstruction through the lens of differentiation and individuation—two psychological concepts that have profoundly shaped my faith journey.
For years, I related to Catholicism the way I related to my family of origin—with enmeshment, not healthy boundaries. I believed that closeness meant having no division, that love meant disappearing into the other. I carried this into my relationship with God, believing I had to disappear into Him rather than becoming fully myself.
In this episode, I talk about:
* What differentiation and individuation mean in the context of faith
* How enmeshment in family systems mirrors enmeshment with the Church
* Why questioning and discernment are essential to mature faith
* The difference between mystical oneness and emotionally healthy individuation
* Learning to trust my own desires instead of fearing them
* How healing from trauma is itself an act of differentiation
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Chapters:
0:00 Introduction: Deconstruction as Differentiation
1:25 Understanding Differentiation & Individuation
4:23 Enmeshment in My Family of Origin
7:05 The Paradox of Oneness vs. Becoming Distinct
10:31 A Pivotal Moment: Realising My Mother's Influence
17:22 Enmeshment with the Catholic Church
21:30 Growing Up Catholic: Uncritical Faith
29:43 The Church as Safe Harbour for Trauma
35:00 Healing & Differentiating from Family
43:31 Discerning Faith as an Adult Child of God